Back in Berlin

I've been home in Berlin for a decent while now, and it's passed by in a flash. My first night back consisted of the usual debauchery with friends at our standby bar. Then, my Vorkurs began...

My lecturer, Claus, is an interesting fellow. He is a native Berliner and extremely kind, but I don't think I've ever had a worse teacher in my life. I'm almost halfway done with the course, and I've learned very little. To top it all off, I'm pretty much failing the class right now, and this has caused my right eye to start twitching spontaneously again. Life is rough.

Sadly, I think I've hit this wall where I feel like I can understand more and more of the German spoken around me but cannot whatsoever reciprocate. I open my mouth and try and say something, but I don't try very hard to produce an answer. Usually, I know I'm with people who speak English, and I simply give up. Shame on me, I know!

There were a few days where I was pretty depressed about my slow progress. I hate that I can't read a book, memorize something, and magically become fluent in German. Languages don't work like that, unfortunately. That's what makes it all the more frustrating. When I didn't understand what the hell my microeconomics professor was doing in class last semester, I could go home, use the lecture notes, solve some example questions, and not feel like a complete idiot at the end of the day. There was always an answer I could eventually drill down to and reach. There is no answer in this case.

Well... then I collected myself and realized that I can't possibly be the only person who feels this way. I know for a fact that I'm not. I asked my host mom and sister for book recommendations to help. They have a wonderful collection of everything from Kinderbücher to nonfiction to novels for adults. My personalized reading list:

• Der kleine Prinz - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (pretty sure it's available in every language)
• Wörter aus 30 Jahren - Elke Heidenreich
• Ich bin meine eigene Frau - Charlotte von Mahlsdorf (about a Transvestit living through WWII and subsequently the DDR)
• Jim Knopf und Lukas der Lokomotivführer, Jim Knopf und die Wilde 13 - Michael Ende
• Emil und die Detektive - Erich Kästner

I should be ashamed that I haven't actually read a book in English for a very long time. Last week, I started reading Der kleine Prinz and like any Berliner, I do a lot of my reading in the U-Bahn when I'm commuting. This young German couple judged me kinda hard for reading essentially a children's book. They clearly haven't read it in a while because they were being shitty adults :)

Outside of class, things have been crazy. The weather in Berlin has been the most comfortable and warm a Californian girl could've expected for this time of year. This means going out willingly into the sunshine and not begrudgingly trudging (look at this lame attempt at wordplay!) through snow.

perfect weather + view for a picnic on Pfaueninsel with my friend Gayle

pleasant late afternoon stroll through Grunewald, which is still in winter recovery mode

Boy, has my social calendar never been more packed! It's odd because at home, I go for weeks without doing anything, not even going to see a movie at the theater, and I'm fine and dandy. Now, I find myself going out for several nights in a row and sometimes craving a night in. This Vorkurs group is almost entirely new to me, and I've spent the last few weeks trying to get to know as many people as possible. Don't get me wrong - it's been a great time, but it's so exhausting to the point that a night in with a few glasses of red wine and a football game with my host sister is perfection.

"Annie, du siehst sehr dick aus!" Oh, ich weiß...

Admittedly, I'm struggling to hang with the Europeans. I didn't know how to properly set a dinner table, I don't know how to host a dinner party, I don't know how to go clubbing until 4 AM on a school night, I don't know how to smoke anything really, I don't know how to speak many European languages, I didn't know how many times I should kiss people on the cheek when I greet them, I didn't know how to tell when wine is "good" as opposed to "bad," I didn't know that you can keep beers outside on the windowsill to chill them when you don't have enough space in your fridge, I didn't know how to use a waiter's corkscrew...

But I'm learning, and that's all part of the experience.

I'm all blogged out for now. Until next time!